3.9.04

Family Confidences

180lbs
38cm fundus
I had major cramping again last night. We had an open house at Donovan's school and thought that I could make it home on foot. The cramps were excruciating- so bad that I couldn't get my feet to move.
I have been sucking down water like it's out of style but they don't seem to be hydration related anymore. Today I have a midwife appt. I hope she'll be able to tell me if I'm dilated any more. At least I know if I'm two or three cm dilated I'll be going sooner rather than later.
I finally told my brother today that I thought he was the lucky one to have lost his mother early to hep c as opposed to the slow torture I'm going through. Mom called last night to tell me she has ten years left to live though I know next week it will be back down to "anytime now". I'm not sure we (dad and I) can handle 10 years of senility. We are having a hard enough time now and I'm not sure watching someone you love go mad is something you get used to. My brother says when her time does come I'll be thankful for the extra time I got to spend with her.

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