I'd Rather Be Doing Dishes.

You know you should not be posting when you look at the blank page and it's so overwhelming you actually wonder if you wouldn't rather be doing the dishes. Then I began to wonder about the motive of posting. I haven't posted in here in years and rarely on my diaryland page so why am I here now? Is it merely because a long lost friend of mine has finally popped up on the radar and I want to fill her in on all the *shit* that has been happening in my life?
I think that's a big part of it but I also think I have a lot to work out in my life. I have so many questions that need answers, so many joys and victories to shout from the rooftops, so many shoulders that need to be cried on.

The trick is, do I have the time to keep up with it? Do I have the discipline to keep up with it? Will I post one big huge post about all that has happened in my life and then that will be it for another three years? Would that necessarily be a bad thing? Can't I write one post without inundating my readers with questions? Probably not.

I'm antsy for those dishes. In fact I just got up with the intention of doing them.
Here is the scoop: That cute little baby down there? That drooling-pooping-giggling-cooing little nuk-nuk muncher down there in the archive... She's three. She's making trains and singing "If you're happy and you know it", she's potty trained and drinks out of a big girl cup. That such a miraculous transformation has occurred from that little pea in a pod to this beautiful butterfly takes my breath away. Before she was like a cute little figurine you set on your shelf and dusted lovingly. Your friends ooed and aahed over it but you really couldn't do a whole lot with it. Well, somewhere along the way I traded that figurine in for a go cart. She joined her first circle this month at our first Pagan Pride Day. It does a pagan mommy proud.

Speaking of proud, my eldest recently set up his first altar. He does pretty good with it too, barring the occasional psp game and who doesn't want to thank the Gods for video games? He also recently received Silver Ravenwolf's Teen Witch from a friend. How awesome is it that the pagan community thinks that my 9 year old is ready to be a teenage witch. Too bad he thinks so too lol. He loves paganism, anything with wheels on it, card games (pokemon and magic the gathering) and zebra cakes (another thing that brings proud tears to my eyes).

My elder girl is breathtaking. She's grown into a lovely young lady who says please and thank you and shows everyone around here that she will put you first. She is generous, caring and smart as a whip. We are having her tested for ADD and Dyslexia soon however because she is having trouble reading but her math is 100%. She told her teacher she is going to be an Etymologist when she grows up. The teacher didn't know what that was so my daughter explained it. How's that for proud moments.

As for me, your faithful stay at home mommy... well you knew it wouldn't last forever, didn't you? I went back to college. I hate saying it. Something about the way the word college sounds on my tongue and in my mind. Makes me want to grind my teeth. Anyway, I'm doing it. I'm a second semester freshman with a dual major in graphic design and creative writing. Again, are you seriously surprised? My first semester I got a 4.0. I'm now a crimson scholar. Can I keep it up this semester? Probably not, Art History 1 is killing my. My first test earned a C and it was open book. Yup I'm screwed. Ah well, if attendance and a kick ass paper can pull my grade up it will. If not I might not ever be a first semester sophomore. Yeah I'm on financial aid probation. Do go or we don't give you money to go to school anymore. Thing is, they are still figuring in the F's I got in 1995!! You'd think 4 A+s would void out for Fs but nope, I have to get at least 6 As to void them out.

Other news, I've started on my sleeves. For those of you who don't comprende I'm talking about full length tattoos that start at my shoulder and go all the way to my wrists. My left arm is done from wrist to elbow and my right arm is done from shoulder to elbow. Left arm got butterflies, right arm got the most kick ass pagan montage you have ever seen.

Also, for those of you who don't know me, I haven' seen my biological father since I was my baby's age. I was raised by my stepfather since I was one and thats the way I like it. My sperm donor has never done anything for me and doesn't care about anything but himself and apparently even that has ended. I got a phone call from my mother the other day with news that I either have to take an active interest in my real father's care or sign away my rights to make decisions in the future. What a deliciously karmic decision to throw at me RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MID-TERMS!!! I still haven't made a choice but I think the weight is swaying heavily in one direction. Either sign away my rights and seem to be a cold uncaring bitch or keep the power and make decisions based on all the wrong things. Goddess, I love your sense of humor sometimes. I just wish it wasn't always pointed at me.

For the record I had stopped drinking. I hadn't had a drop of alcohol for 2 years. Well, I've started up again. I drink for three days every month. Those of you who know what endometriosis is will understand why. After struggling to find a pain pill that will ease the pain I discovered that if I have one glass of wine before bed the first three nights I'm good all day long pain wise. It's amazing! Vicoden didn't work, Hydrocodon didn't work, prescription grade Ibuprofen and Acetaminophen didn't work. One glass of wine a night relaxes the cramps enough to help me the whole next day. Yay for not having to take narcotics to get through the day.

Ok, well the diary seems to have won over the dishes but it can't compete against a nice hot shower (its freezing here!) and a cup of hot cider so I'll catch you all later.

Hugs!
Luna