Cat Ranchers

The Trouble with Tribbles is that they multiply. And quickly. And not even logically.
The same goes with cats.
We started with one cat. She had two female kittens. Now her kittens have each had either one or two litters and we are swimming in kittens.
Last count: Four Adult Females, Three teen males, one teen female, and seven kittens.

The thing is, they're supposed to be indoor cats. They're supposed to be all female but suddenly their breeding at an alarming rate, faster than I can possible get them neutered and...

Like I said, now were swimming in cats.

I forbade the girls from naming them knowing  full well that once they are named it is a thousand times harder to let them go but suddenly they all had names. Two-face and Ginger are the Eldest females. Moonlight and Sticky are Two-Face's daughters. Sticky has two litters, the teen: Mr. E, Albus, Socks, and Harriet Potter, plus five unnamed kittens...

ok fine. I named one. I call it Pinkie.

Moonlight has one litter: Snowflake and Smokey who found homes this weekend and "The Twins" who are so small and helpless I'm afraid of sending them out into the big bad world.

And we were doing ok. We were maintaining even though the price of cat food is higher than the price of gas. Until last night when Socks decided he wanted to start acting like an asshole.

Be forewarned people. I curse. I'm going to curse and talk about kinky sex and witch craft and you all will be utterly blown away.

My little Socks. Socks and Mittens, Mittens and Kittens, Kittens who lost their mittens, Gloves. Socks decided he was going to get laid and he didn't care who did it.

That's when my little Socks and Mittens cat turned into S&M cat.s
He meowed all night, clawing at doors and calling to his one and only true love.
He moaned. He cried. He coooed.

The only problem is that every female in the house is either his mother, his aunt, his sister, his cousin, or an elderly neuter who hates everyone.

And now we both hate life.