Getting The Energy Back

I'm finally starting to get a little of my energy back. I cleaned the whole house this morning except for my room and it's only 10. I think the house in an hour is pretty good, if I may say so myself.
Part of cleaning was dismantling Baybee's cage. I took it all apart and put what I could in the dishwasher and hand cleaned the rest. It hurt to say the least. It was just another finality I'm not ready to deal with. I can't lie and say that the ominous portent of her name hasn't haunted me from the beginnning. I named her Baybee and I've lost her and that makes me wonder if it's an omen about other babies. I've picked this trauma clean. I've gleaned every bit of fear and worry I possible can and now I turn the shiny bleached bones over and over looking for something else I can use to make my life complicated. It's my knack.
The rain has finally ended and I was thrilled the other day when Donovan said "Why do the Gods make it rain so much." I had been concerned about the schools brain washing him with "Under God" every morning, worried that I hadn't been doing my part to explain religion to him. His simple use of the word Gods instead of God made me happy. He's going to grow up believing that there are all kind of Gods to chose from and that no matter what he choses to believe he won't be wrong. And while I'd hate to see the day he tells hubby he's going to be Christian, I feel like I'm learned enough to tell him the good christian beliefs from the Guilt Makers. So for now it's Gods. "The Gods make the rain come because thats what plants need to eat. Plants eat sun and rain."
"Why don't the Gods send sun too, then?"
"They will."
And thats what I have to believe about Baybee, Lunababy and everything else in my life that is going horribly wrong...
The Gods won't forget the sunshine.