Losing Yourself

I've discovered that as they grow my kids are morphing me. I used to be lightning strider, filled with adventure and strength. I rode the lightning and walked with the storms, I danced in the rain and charged through the open night. Then I became lunablossom, a delicate flower opening up to motherhood for the first time. With my second baby I became lunamuse. She inspired me to be more than just a docile flower and I became a poetess witch. Now with my third child I'm lunamama. I've stopped being free and independent, I've stopped being myself, instead I've become "Donovan's Mom" or even worse "Mike's Wife" and while I detest the fact that I've become these things I perpetuate them by calling other mother's "So and So's Mom" never even bothering to learn their real names. Now that I've known them almost a year I'm embarassed to admit that I don't remember their names. When they call and leave a message I don't return the call, unsure who it is I'm listening to. When we drop off the kids we refer to one another as "This one's mom" or "That one's mom" instead of becoming intimate friends. Those few who I have bothered to learn the names of have drifted away leaving me to wonder why bother. Why bother with learning anything when two months from now they will just be back to "This little piggy's mom."