I feel awful today. I'm not sure why, whether it was a dream or being woken up last night from a sound sleep or a combination of the two. It makes me even more angry that I can't stop the tears and sadness when my family so clearly needs me to be happy. I try putting on a brave face but wonder if the effort just makes it worse. Mike thinks its something he's done. I don't know how to show him it's not.
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